eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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