I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
