I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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