Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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