You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
