I wish life had little blips of pornography
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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