Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there's paper in my vomit.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
