he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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