you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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