Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
