we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
