Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
