I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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