i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
