I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
