I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We are two peas in an std pod
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
