Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Randomize
