Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize