we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Two words: blizzard sex
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