you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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