its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I will be naked everywhere
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
