How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just forgot I was standing up.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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