Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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