mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
