I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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