there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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