her vagine was all disorganized.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream