it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything