Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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