He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
