you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
