so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
