hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
