im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
