Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
did i walk over a car last night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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