so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
