They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
