I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
wow bdsm is so cute
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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