you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
