He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
