Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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