i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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