yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
