I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
