"it" just moved
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
