nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
