On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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