next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
