WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
