Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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