Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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