that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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