How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
