D3 body, D1 cock
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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