Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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