Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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