it's great music for shaving your balls
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
