If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
