kristin has been a bad kristin
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
