There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.