Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila