I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.