I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize