suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?