good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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