So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
