The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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