Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We are all done wearing pants today
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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