So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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