piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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