terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
