You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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