Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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